What evidence should I keep?
7 min read · Last reviewed 1 August 2026
The instinct after separation is to save everything. It feels like safety. In practice, three years of screenshots is unusable, and the things that would actually have helped, the dates and the small details, are the things nobody wrote down.
Worth keeping
A contemporaneous record
A short, dated note of what happened, written the same day. This is the single most valuable thing you can build and it costs two minutes. "14 June. Handover at 5pm, 40 minutes late, no message. Amelia was upset in the car and said she had not had tea." Factual, dated, about the child.
Documents
- Every court order and every letter from the court
- Cafcass letters and reports
- Correspondence from solicitors
- School reports, attendance records, emails from teachers
- GP and hospital records that relate to the child
- Police reference numbers, incident numbers and any disclosure
- Proof of what you have paid, if money is disputed
A small, selected set of messages
Not the archive. The three or four exchanges that prove an agreement, show a pattern, or contradict something said to the court.
Rarely worth it
- Social media posts about the other parent's private life
- Anything obtained by logging into their accounts. This can be unlawful and it will be the thing the judge remembers about you
- Recordings of your child, in almost every case
- Photographs of the child's bedroom at the other house, unless there is a genuine welfare concern
- Statements from friends and family saying you are a good parent. Courts expect that and give it little weight
How to keep it
- One place, not five. Splitting it across your phone, email and a notebook is how things get lost
- Date everything at the moment you save it
- Note where it came from, and any reference number
- Keep a copy somewhere other than your phone
- Write it as though it will be read by a stranger, because it will be
Turning records into evidence
A diary is not filed at court on its own. When a statement is directed, you use the record to write it: specific dates, specific events, exhibits attached in order. Parents who kept a record write that statement in an evening. Parents who did not spend three weeks scrolling and still get the dates wrong.
Common questions
- What evidence is useful in family court?
- Anything that helps the court decide what is best for the child: a dated record of what actually happened, court orders and letters, school and medical information, and a small, well-chosen selection of messages. Volume is not persuasive; relevance is.
- Should I keep a diary for family court?
- Yes. A contemporaneous record made at the time carries more weight than a document written months later from memory. Keep it factual, dated and free of commentary about the other parent's character.
- Can I record my ex or my child?
- Recording your child is strongly discouraged and can seriously damage your case. Covert recordings of the other parent are often refused or viewed poorly. Seek advice before relying on any recording.
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This guide is general information about the family court in England and Wales. It is not legal advice and it does not create a solicitor-client relationship.