Can my ex stop me taking my child on holiday?

This question arrives every spring and it causes more panic than it needs to. The rules are fairly clear, and the mistake that causes real harm is going anyway.

The basic rule

To take a child out of England and Wales you need either the consent of everyone with parental responsibility, or permission from the court. Get consent in writing. A text saying "fine, go" is enough, and it is a great deal better than a remembered conversation.

The 28 day exception

If you have a Child Arrangements Order stating that the child lives with you, you can take them abroad for up to 28 days without the other parent's consent, unless a separate order such as a Prohibited Steps Order says otherwise. An order for the child to spend time with you does not carry that permission.

Even where the exception applies, telling the other parent is sensible. Withholding information you did not have to give still reads badly later.

Asking well

1. 1

   Ask early, with details

   Destination, dates, flight numbers, where you are staying, and a contact number. Most refusals are really anxiety about the unknown. Removing the unknown removes most refusals.

2. 2

   Offer to make up the time

   If the holiday cuts across the other parent's time, propose how it will be replaced. This is often the whole objection.

3. 3

   Put it in writing and keep it

   One clear written request, and their answer, is exactly what a court will want to see if you end up applying.

4. 4

   Do not book non-refundable travel first

   Booking then asking turns a request into an ultimatum, and courts notice.

If they refuse

Apply for a Specific Issue Order on a C100. The court will weigh things like:

• Whether the destination is a country that would return the child if they were not brought back (Hague Convention signatory)
• Any history of threats not to return, or of ties to the other country
• The length of the trip and the effect on schooling and on the other parent's time
• Whether the trip is genuinely in the child's interests

Apply as far ahead as you can. Courts cannot conjure a hearing for a flight leaving in ten days, and last-minute applications are frequently refused simply because there was no time to consider them properly.

If you are the parent being asked

Refusing needs a reason connected to the child, not to how you feel about your ex. Genuine concerns, such as a real risk the child will not be returned, are taken seriously. A blanket refusal to a normal fortnight in Spain rarely survives contact with a judge, and unreasonable refusals can carry costs consequences.